We Are A Family

In my previous post, I talked about my Nana turning 100.



Here's a newspaper article that featured her.

P.S. They apparently don't teach spelling or fact checking at the j-school that writer Annie Burris attended...but it's great coverage nonetheless.

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‘She bases her life on laughter’
Anaheim Hills woman hits the big 100.
BY ANNIE BURRIS ANAHEIM HILLS NEWS

What is 100 years old, begins with a “D” and is seven letters?
Dorothy, as in Dorothy Saulten, an Anaheim Hills centenarian and Scrabble whiz.
Dorothy Saulten, who celebrated her 100th birthday Oct. 19, attributes her long life to moderation, good genes and keeping her mind sharp. At Nohl Ranch Inn, an assisted living center, she is known for her kind nature and her ruthless Scrabble skills, said lead concierge Kristine Herro.

“I’m glad you’re older than me,” said Gladys Parr, 92, to Saulten. “But you’re the smartest dame I know.”

Saulten celebrated her 100th birthday at the Inn with friends and family over cake and Frank Sinatra’s “Young at Heart.”

“I feel like a queen for a day,” Saulten said.

Saulten worked as a dental assistant and at Mt. Sinai Hospital in her hometown of Harford, Conn., where she recorded 15,000 baby’s names. She and her husband, who were married for 67 years, had worked in the antique business.

“She bases her life on laughter,” said daughter-inlaw, Hellene Saulten. “She loves life, period.”
Having lived through two world wars, Neil Armstrong’s walk on the moon and the creation of the Internet, Saulten said the changes that have occurred over the last 100 years is too much to absorb.

“How does one grasp the world after having lived through so much?” asked Saulten’s son, Elliot.

Dorothy Saulten
Date of birth: Oct. 1 9, 1 906 Family: 2 sons, 5 grandchildren, 1 0 great-grandchildren, married for 67 years
Then and now
A price comparison between 1 9 1 5, when Saulten was nine years old, and 2006, when she turned 1 00:
U.S. population
1 9 1 5 – 1 00 million 2006 – 300 million
Gallon of gas
1 9 1 5 – 25 cents 2006 – $2.26
Gallon of milk
1 9 1 5 - 36 cents 2006 – $2.56
Household size
1 9 1 5 – 4.5 persons 2006 – 2.6 persons
New home
1 9 1 5 - $3,200 2006 - $290,600 Sources: The Orange County Register, U.S. Census, Chicago Tribune, The New York Times.

No More Words

There was a time when I thought that when my daughters were born, they would be the center of the universe. Now, as a parent having nearly 7 years under my belt, I realize how idiotic that perspective was.

Center? Ha. They are, indeed, the very universe itself. How could I have missed this? How could I not have seen them for their true depth and voluminous importance, right from the start? Probably because people have tried to describe this feeling for as long as man (woman, more likely) etched out the first hieroglyphic to communicate, but have never been able to properly describe the essence of being a parent.

In short, I was never warned.

I realize now, why. It’s too hard to describe the innocence of a child, and the near paralyzing fear of the ensuing life that eventually obliterates that innocence. It's too hard to find words that capture the sweet, soft, grubby, chubby, adorable flesh of a child. And it's harder still to convey through any conventional language the swell of indestructible, endless, without boundaries, unconditional love that you have for your offspring.

Yet, we persist. We, the ‘rents, keep trying to convey these feelings to others simply because they’re so strong and true; overwhelming in their intensity. Like a vulnerable human being staring up at a UFO in a Hollywood thriller, we are at a loss for adjectives, yet feel compelled with a mighty force to say, “Look! Feel this! See this!” to anyone around, so that they, too, might experience the same emotion.

It makes me look forward to my own daughters having children, so that they understand the sheer magnitude of my love for them. I'm in no rush--I'm still recovering from kindergarten separation, frankly. But the gift of parenting is by far the most precious offering available to any of us, and while it's definitely not for everyone, it's something I do hope my girls will experience for themselves one day. If nothing else, it will finally make clear to them that which words have never been able to express.

100 Years

At the risk of admitting to the influence of credit card commercials, I have to say that I love this song.

Its whole concept has been on my mind a lot lately, as tomorrow is my Nana's 100th birthday. And it's amazing, truly amazing, to think about all she's seen.

Aside from The Great Depression and much of her family's demise in the Holocaust, as well as losing Poppy to Alzheimer's after being together for 67 years (yeah, "aside" from all that...) she's had a great ride. But her celebration begs my own introspective questions--Will I make it to 100? Will I want to? What will I be looking back on? What will my grandchildren think of me as they pause to reflect on my life?

Or, more honestly: Will I still have my own teeth? Will my clothes be some icky fabric and pattern? Will I still be able to listen to my favorite U2 CDs? The potential for indignities is staggering when you're old and can't always make your own choices. How does one avoid this? Is there a clause you can put in a Living Will that indicates your fashion preferences?

To add to this burst of concern, my best friend recently asked me, "Have you ever questioned every single decision made in your life up to this point?"

My answer: Yes, daily.

But that's just me. I'm in a weird place right now.

In any case, her poignant pondering brought up a whole host of OTHER questions....

Am I living the life I'm supposed to be living? Raising my children the right way? Wearing my hair the way it's supposed to be worn? Treating others by the Golden Rule enough? Flossing enough? Contributing enough to charity? Should I paint the twins' room pink or green?... GOOD LORD, I NEED TO HURRY MY ASS UP AND DECIDE THESE THINGS! I'M GOING TO BE 100 YEARS OLD SOON! Okay, not soon. But SOON!

I realize, in theory, that you have to savor every moment on Earth while you can and not obsess about the things you don't have that much control over. And I try to. Most of the time.

But that other stuff--the things you do have control over. ..man, oh man, they pose some seriously heavy questions if you think about them long enough.

In my very best Scarlett O'Hara form, I'll think about them tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm going to think about Nana and her swell life, and hope to capture some of her positive vibes. Good genes count for a lot, and it's possible I'll be around for quite some time to work out that other stuff.

Mama

In the ever-growing sea of forgettable, vanilla mommy bloggers, I try to maintain my individuality by avoiding the cliche posts as much as possible---"Today my 4-year-old said the most PRECIOUS thing!" stories are about as interesting to anyone not related to that tot as C-SPAN.

Actually, that crap gets old quick even for close family members.

But on occasion, you'll see I do wax poetic-ish about the frustrations and hilarity that come with parenting. It's inevitable, as my kids are by far the most important and enjoyable part of my life.

There are some great web sites and blogs out there that have a sense of humor about it all. I especially like The Imperfect Parent and Hip Mama. They understand that it's perfectly normal for a mom to spend as much time worrying about global warming and spelling as you do searching for the perfect pair of black boots.

My friend Bashi has captured some of the very best mommy thoughts in a collection of hip, funny, clever t-shirts that really make me glad I procreated. Check out Moms Rock On and buy some for your favorite mama today.

More Than a Woman

Here's why women are the more highly evolved of the sexes:

When we go to a bar/restaurant and order, get nothing we ask for and very little we actually enjoy eating, we still tip the mediocre waiter generously and close the place down because we are talking and laughing too much to notice the time.

When men go to a bar/restaurant and don't get or enjoy what they order, they leave. Okay, first they hit on the waitress. But if the waitress isn't in a flirty mood, the evening's shot and they leave. They must move on. They complain and grump until they find somewhere else to drink.

Ostensibly, the food desired and paid for should in fact be served. I'll give you that.

But who really cares? Are cold Coronas on the table? Allrightythen. My point is made.

It's all about the chitchat, sistas.

Who's That Girl

Someone, somewhere should write a book and title it, "Why Women Cease Maturing after The Eighth Grade". Sort of like the "Queen Bees and Wannabees" thing that helped Tina Fey and the whole Mean Girls screenplay concepting.

But this book would describe in far greater detail the physical and emotional process that simply cuts off and stagnates in females, thus creating a society filled with vapid, superficial, fickle women who still don't get that it's not nice to make other chicks feel bad.

Okay, on re-read perhaps that rant was a tad harsh.

I do of course know many, many wonderful, deep-thinking, complex, caring women. I am even lucky enough to call a great group of them my friends.

But daaanng, people. Come ON already. Can we be grown-ups now? Is it time? What about citing, say, 35 as a good year to develop some character? That's plenty, huh?

I realize this is extremely politically incorrect, given that I am WP (without penis). Typically men bashing is far more acceptable than breaking up the inherent "us against them" sisterhood by daring to challenge another double X chromo-type. And trust me, I'll get to the men bashing at some point. The web is only so big.

It's just that I am not quite sure I can withstand one, single, solitary more gossipy, snotty, clique-ish experience without hauling off and laying out one of these bee-atches with a healthy uppercut.

Keep in mind that I am coming at this from a pretty "accepted" and "included" place. I gots me some peeps.

But that doesn't preclude me from taking offense on behalf of those that don't have the ability or personality to push back when they're being snubbed, gossiped about or otherwise socially circumvented in some way.

Stop the insanity, ladies. Check your moral and emotional fortitude. Grow a pair. Etc.

Don't be that girl.