No More Words
There was a time when I thought that when my daughters were born, they would be the center of the universe. Now, as a parent having nearly 7 years under my belt, I realize how idiotic that perspective was.
Center? Ha. They are, indeed, the very universe itself. How could I have missed this? How could I not have seen them for their true depth and voluminous importance, right from the start? Probably because people have tried to describe this feeling for as long as man (woman, more likely) etched out the first hieroglyphic to communicate, but have never been able to properly describe the essence of being a parent.
In short, I was never warned.
I realize now, why. It’s too hard to describe the innocence of a child, and the near paralyzing fear of the ensuing life that eventually obliterates that innocence. It's too hard to find words that capture the sweet, soft, grubby, chubby, adorable flesh of a child. And it's harder still to convey through any conventional language the swell of indestructible, endless, without boundaries, unconditional love that you have for your offspring.
Yet, we persist. We, the ‘rents, keep trying to convey these feelings to others simply because they’re so strong and true; overwhelming in their intensity. Like a vulnerable human being staring up at a UFO in a Hollywood thriller, we are at a loss for adjectives, yet feel compelled with a mighty force to say, “Look! Feel this! See this!” to anyone around, so that they, too, might experience the same emotion.
It makes me look forward to my own daughters having children, so that they understand the sheer magnitude of my love for them. I'm in no rush--I'm still recovering from kindergarten separation, frankly. But the gift of parenting is by far the most precious offering available to any of us, and while it's definitely not for everyone, it's something I do hope my girls will experience for themselves one day. If nothing else, it will finally make clear to them that which words have never been able to express.
Center? Ha. They are, indeed, the very universe itself. How could I have missed this? How could I not have seen them for their true depth and voluminous importance, right from the start? Probably because people have tried to describe this feeling for as long as man (woman, more likely) etched out the first hieroglyphic to communicate, but have never been able to properly describe the essence of being a parent.
In short, I was never warned.
I realize now, why. It’s too hard to describe the innocence of a child, and the near paralyzing fear of the ensuing life that eventually obliterates that innocence. It's too hard to find words that capture the sweet, soft, grubby, chubby, adorable flesh of a child. And it's harder still to convey through any conventional language the swell of indestructible, endless, without boundaries, unconditional love that you have for your offspring.
Yet, we persist. We, the ‘rents, keep trying to convey these feelings to others simply because they’re so strong and true; overwhelming in their intensity. Like a vulnerable human being staring up at a UFO in a Hollywood thriller, we are at a loss for adjectives, yet feel compelled with a mighty force to say, “Look! Feel this! See this!” to anyone around, so that they, too, might experience the same emotion.
It makes me look forward to my own daughters having children, so that they understand the sheer magnitude of my love for them. I'm in no rush--I'm still recovering from kindergarten separation, frankly. But the gift of parenting is by far the most precious offering available to any of us, and while it's definitely not for everyone, it's something I do hope my girls will experience for themselves one day. If nothing else, it will finally make clear to them that which words have never been able to express.
posted by jsa at 1:00 PM
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