100 Years

At the risk of admitting to the influence of credit card commercials, I have to say that I love this song.

Its whole concept has been on my mind a lot lately, as tomorrow is my Nana's 100th birthday. And it's amazing, truly amazing, to think about all she's seen.

Aside from The Great Depression and much of her family's demise in the Holocaust, as well as losing Poppy to Alzheimer's after being together for 67 years (yeah, "aside" from all that...) she's had a great ride. But her celebration begs my own introspective questions--Will I make it to 100? Will I want to? What will I be looking back on? What will my grandchildren think of me as they pause to reflect on my life?

Or, more honestly: Will I still have my own teeth? Will my clothes be some icky fabric and pattern? Will I still be able to listen to my favorite U2 CDs? The potential for indignities is staggering when you're old and can't always make your own choices. How does one avoid this? Is there a clause you can put in a Living Will that indicates your fashion preferences?

To add to this burst of concern, my best friend recently asked me, "Have you ever questioned every single decision made in your life up to this point?"

My answer: Yes, daily.

But that's just me. I'm in a weird place right now.

In any case, her poignant pondering brought up a whole host of OTHER questions....

Am I living the life I'm supposed to be living? Raising my children the right way? Wearing my hair the way it's supposed to be worn? Treating others by the Golden Rule enough? Flossing enough? Contributing enough to charity? Should I paint the twins' room pink or green?... GOOD LORD, I NEED TO HURRY MY ASS UP AND DECIDE THESE THINGS! I'M GOING TO BE 100 YEARS OLD SOON! Okay, not soon. But SOON!

I realize, in theory, that you have to savor every moment on Earth while you can and not obsess about the things you don't have that much control over. And I try to. Most of the time.

But that other stuff--the things you do have control over. ..man, oh man, they pose some seriously heavy questions if you think about them long enough.

In my very best Scarlett O'Hara form, I'll think about them tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm going to think about Nana and her swell life, and hope to capture some of her positive vibes. Good genes count for a lot, and it's possible I'll be around for quite some time to work out that other stuff.