We Are the World

This.

Is.

So.

Funny.

This Kiss

We all have our pet peeves. Some are mundane (I hate people cracking their knuckles), but others are more personalized--idiosyncrasies, let's say.

While my friends find it a funny thing to be bothered about, I get straight-up batty annoyed watching bad kissers.

Not on my lips, mind you (my smooches come from three little girls, and you can't go wrong there), but on the screen.

If I'm watching a TV show or movie and I actually NOTICE the way someone's kissing, it's a bad sign. They're obviously doing something weird.

Case in point: Andrew McCArthy. When he made out with Molly Ringwald (another offender) in Pretty in Pink, I cringed. The fact that I remember this should be evidence enough, but after happening upon Lipstick Jungle last night (bad book, worse TV show) I was shocked to see the old Brat Packer pukey puckering right there on prime time! Badly! Still! You'd think if he didn't learn a thing or two personally over the past few decades, at least a director would have forced the issue.

He's right up there with Natalie Portman and Kevin Connolly ("E" from Entourage), both of which have demonstrated repeatedly that they are violent offenders.

Okay, the ending to Garden State was first class. But still. You'd think they'd give lessons or somethin'.

This guy has a list of worst on screen kisses. It's a start.
And, in the spirit of equal time, I like this list of some of the best. I think Jake and Heath's reunion kiss in Brokeback is way up there on mine, though that would be a long blog post. Say Anything kiss in the rain, Chasing Amy kiss in the rain, Unfaithful--entire scenes.

Feel free to chime in, people.

You Are My Sunshine

Going on vacation with children is an ongoing reminder that, as a mother, you serve many purposes. Shall I name a few?



* coat hanger

* backpack holder

* hand holder

* lift-me-upper

* last bite of my favorite meal giver-upper

* walk to the bathroom with me in the middle of the night pal

* person to wake up to tell you had a bad dream

* person to wake up to tell you can't sleep

* person to wake up to tell you have to blow your nose

* person to wake up to tell you're hot

* person to wake up to tell you're cold

* audience to "watch this, no me first, no watch again"

* ear lender to endless recitations of (High School Musical song, knock-knock joke heard fifty-six times, made up lyrics song, etc.)

* children's menu tic tac toe partner

* children's menu hangman partner

* food cutter-upper

* back scratcher

* water bottle, sweatshirt, extra tissues, sunglasses and hair accessories holder

Hey, at least I'm needed.

Crocodile Rock (Take 2)

Again, this whole Irwin thing bugs me.

Okay, I'm done with the crocodile crap. I hope to never revisit it again.

But I told you they had a warped set of parenting principles. Told ya, told ya, told ya.

Best of Both Worlds

When I bought my daughter tickets to go see Hannah Montana a couple of weeks ago, everyone asked me how I was able to secure such a valuable commodity. They wanted to know what exorbitant amount of money I (surely had to have) paid. They wanted to know why I was able to achieve what so many others had not been able to achieve.

My reply? I'm Jen. The Best Mother in the World.

Also, I learned a little trick on Ticketmaster where you sign on in a different location and buy tickets using that zip code.

But, also, too, I'm Jen! The Best Mother in the World!

I would never have spent real money on 5 and 8-year-old little girls to see a concert. When I saw Rush in 8th grade I must have been 13 or 14. And I likely spent $10 on the ticket.

The point is that they do so much more now, at such a younger age. The silly hormones in the milk are even starting puberty earlier in these little people.

I'll pay exorbitant hormone-free, organic milk prices way before Miley Cyrus gets my hard earned cash.

But for many things, these girls are just going to have to wait. While their friends all have pierced ears, mine shall wait. While their friends are signing up for 4 different activities at a time, mine shall wait. And, hopefully, while their friends are starting to talk about boys and starting to date...well. I just turned in my bleeding heart liberal nature for a full dose of right wing, abstinence loving mom talk. They can wait.