Shake Your Booty

It's long been theorized that men are the "hunter/gatherers" while women take on the nuturer/caregiver roles in society. Neanderthal gender roles. Basic instinct. Genetic predisposition. blah blah.

But right in the face of all of that academic and historic dribble, I beg to differ. In fact, I've got scientifically solid (albeit anecdotal) evidence to the contrary.

You see, women, not men, search out their prized possessions like prey, exploring possibilities from store to store/catalogue to catalogue/web site to web site in a provocative and ruthless way, exercising all means of savvy and ploy in order to secure the very best for themselves. We will research, browse, gossip and supershop for an object with the scrutiny and tenacity of the fiercest lioness.

Then, we hold up this juicy prize for the entire pack to drool over before explaining--quite reflexively--that we were able to conquer the much desired, tenderest of beast for a mere drip of blood (i.e. ten bucks! on clearance!).

Anyone who has ever sat down to a table full of women and witnessed the spontaneous mutual admiration exchanges over the new shirt/haircut/shoes, followed by the inevitable declaration of where/when/how much, knows exactly what I'm talking about.

It's known as the "Target. $12! Theory of Evolution."

Don't believe me? Test it out....pay a compliment...just one compliment...to a woman on something she's wearing/carrying/walking in, and I guarantee she will immediately respond by thanking you and providing exacting details about where she bought it, how much it cost and the circumstances under which she was able to achieve such foraging excellence.

This knee-jerk reaction no doubt has its roots in the modern woman's constant battle with feelings of worth and the guilt associated with spending money on something for herself, rather than on her offspring.

That's crap, of course. We are worth it.

And we shouldn't feel the need to apologize (or rationalize dollar for dollar) for it. But it's a defense mechanism that has nonetheless nestled its way into the very fabric of our lives.

We do hunt and gather, baby. Those male types got nothin' on us when there's a red dot sale at Loehmann's.

It's just that we simply have to find a way to stop ourselves from constantly rationalizing the booty.