I Walk the Line

I believe I suffer from a hormonal predisposition to overschedule. This malady is evidenced by an annoying ability to juggle more than I can handle, and then absurdly asking for more.

It's not technically my fault. I figured out that it is indeed a learned response. I mean, when you're surrounded by this kind of social distortion, is there any wonder that we begin to pattern our behavior accordingly?

Case in point: One of my best friends is running interference between chemo treatments with her mom, a toddler with chicken pox, Hubby putting in 20-hour workdays (that's right, I said 20), and doting on a newborn. While working full-time.

Another shames Martha Stewart by planning themed birthday parties for 40 preschoolers, engagement parties with homemade chocolate favors, and Disney family vacation packages with all the bells and whistles all while carrying a position with a Fortune 50 company.

Then there are the women in my community group that help plan fundraising events to help needy families for the holidays in between shifts as room mother in their kids' kindergarten classes, cooking meals for neighbors with newborn babies and performing brilliantly at their office jobs.

Or the ubermoms who are back in school getting advanced degrees in the last stages of their third pregnancies (read: two small children to contend with while studying, doing clinical work and suffering from back pain and heartburn) while ensuring the perfect balance of creative outlets and learning opportunities for them via karate, dance, music lessons and Spanish classes.

There are the Brownie troop leaders, the Discovery Toy ladies, the home-based business entrepreneurs...not to mention ye 'ole traditional 9-5ers that still somehow show up for Ladies Night Out with perfect haircuts and manicures.

The fact is, we no longer build a life to enjoy and experience one day at a time. It's more like we exist to see how much we can cram into every waking minute because that's what everyone around us does.

Well, I, for one, am tired. Enough already. Uncle, dammit.

There's no real achievement in demonstrating my "commitment" to my kids through this hyper involvement syndrome anyway, is there?

I'd much rather set an example of balance, tranquility and appreciation for the moment. Yup, the more I think about it, I'm trading in my self-employed business owner, board member, volunteery self for a kindler, gentler version.

Right after tomorrow's board meeting. Or definitely after I send out that press release and finish my carpool obligation.

Tranquility, yessiree. That's my goal. Next week. Latest.